Happy, Free, Confused and Lonely

Aside from my 'My Day' posts and a few others, I don't really talk about my life outside anything beauty related. Well, I thought I'd take the time to just sit down (in my Union Jack sweater and pajama shorts, glasses on, hair in a bun) and just talk about life. I've been in a weird mood lately and it's been over a few different subjects. In short, I've been happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time.

School:

I've been taking Pre-AP and AP classes since seventh grade but I was never one of those super students who studied for hours and hours and got straight A's. I just did the minimum and did well in the classes I liked (English and Reading). When high school started that's when my big group of friends dwindled down due to us going into different organizations. Everyone wanted to be a part of an organization or class that could help them in the future. Me? I was just floating around, not really thinking about my future. Don't get me wrong, I've always planned on going to college but I guess it wasn't a real thing for me? I've always been a "Oh, we'll get there when we get there" type of person. It wasn't until my second semester of Junior year (the most important year) that I realized college is much closer than I thought. Since then I've just been stressing out about college applications and scholarships and just trying to get as much experience as I can with my school yearbook and newspaper. And it's kind of really kicking my butt. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying it but I feel like I'm doing so many things I should have been doing the first three years of high school instead of my senior, when I should be relaxing. 

Friends:

This is a topic that I'm happy about. Whenever someone annoyed me, I'd automatically just vent to whoever would listen and then the next thing I knew, that person would go off and tell other people what I said. This goes without saying, but all of this just led to a lot of fakeness and backstabbing. Now? I just don't care. I've been so busy with school things that whenever I hear a bit of gossip I just think "That's none of my business, if they want me to know they'd tell me themselves." I've found that since I adopted that mentality, I've had a better relationship with people and I've just been happier, overall. I've looked past all the things that used to annoy me about people and have come to accept them. I've been a lot happier with the people I'm surrounding myself with. Advice? It's totally normal for friendships to end. Sometimes you just outgrow people, and it's no ones fault. Just let it be.

Social:

I don't even know what to say for this one. Or if 'social' is even the right word for it. I'm not one to comfortably talk about feelings (not even to my closest friends), but sometimes you just need to let it all out and even if it's all a mess, it's nice to get all your frustrations out. So basically, without getting all mushy and pouring my heart out to you guys, I blame it all on bad timing. 

Gah. I could seriously rant about this for hours, but half of it wouldn't make sense and I don't really want to bore you guys. But thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate it ♥

iscelle robee